Now What?

I realize I've been neglecting my blog for some time now, and according to my Google Analytics account, people have actually been consistently stopping by (I know, weird right?) so I thought I might indulge the few readers I've got (hi mom!) and give an update:

I graduated from college about a month and a half ago. It feels really strange to say I've graduated, let alone over six weeks ago. Honestly, besides not attending classes everyday or studying for tests, it doesn't feel much different - I feel like I'm on an extended vacation in which I work everyday (not too sure what kind of vacations I've been on).

In the last couple of months, I've come realize that not everything I plan for is going to happen. Since I can remember, my future plans have always followed a natural progression - elementary school, middle school, high school, college; I've always known my next step. For the first time in my life, I can't tell you where I'll be in a year. Or half a year. Or even in a few months. I'm playing the waiting game.

And to be honest, it's a little scary.

And to be even more honest, it's a little exhilarating.

Yes, my future is up in the air right now, and waiting for a decision on my grad school admissions appeal is daunting, but at this moment, there's nothing I can do to expedite the process. Maybe I'll find out today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe a week or month from now (but hopefully not that long).

Maybe I'll go to grad school in the fall. Maybe I'll have to reapply next year. No matter what the decision is, I have a really good feeling that everything's going to work itself out. Why worry about something you ultimately have little control over? I've decided to live in the now. And the now is pretty damn good.

What If?

It seems like a lot of people I know have been asking an unusual amount of "what if" questions lately.

Which got me to thinking.

The way I see it, there are two types of "what if" questions: the kind that spark our curiosity and lead us to discover things we never thought possible. The kind of "what if" questions that Thomas Edison and Steve Jobs asked. The kind that make us think outside the box.

And then there's the other kind.

The kind that cause us to doubt our decisions and self-sabotage. Unfortunately, this is the type of "what if" question I've been hearing a lot these days.

"What if my relationship doesn't last?"
"What if I don't get into my top choice?"
"What if I can't do it?"

I'd be lying if I said I've never hesitated before making a decision, much less an important one. I mean, that's normal. I might even go so far as to say it's RECOMMENDED. The problem arises when we let our uncertainty overpower us because of our fear of failure. After all, if you never jump you'll never fall, right?

But what's the fun in that?

The worst that could happen is, yeah, turns out you weren't meant to be with someone, or you don't get into the school of your choice or you don't succeed. Sometimes things don't happen the way we want them to. But, on the bright side, you can say you TRIED. You put yourself out on a limb, knowing full well that it might break, and that's something to be proud of. Congrats to you! And hopefully even if it does break, it won't stop you from trying again. And again. And again.

Journey once told me "don't stop believing." I think they might have been on to something.

21 Things I've Learned in My (Almost) 21 Years

I've been very introspective in the last week or so, so I decided to make a list of important things I've learned about life (so far):

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for. – Epicurus

1. You can’t avoid offending people from time to time. When you don’t mean it, apologize, when you do, accept the consequences.
2. Badmouthing people behind their backs gets you into a shitload of trouble. If you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all.
3. Keep perspective as often as possible – from a distance, even a bumpy road looks smooth.
4. I’ve learned from all the bad choices I’ve made, and therefore don’t regret any of it.
5. Forgiveness is difficult but ultimately necessary to move forward.
6. Things that have happened in our past do NOT have to dictate how we live our lives today.
7. You are responsible for the good and bad things that happen in your life, nobody else. Take responsibility for your actions.
8. Sometimes it’s okay to cry. In fact, most of the time you feel a whole lot better afterwards.
9. Get rid of people who drain the life out of you. Only keep around the people who fill you up with it.
10. Communication is key for healthy friendships and relationships.
11. You’ll never be able to please everyone, so don’t try.
12. Try to take pleasure in the simple things in life as often as possible.
13. Having a few close friends is better than having tons of acquaintances.
14. Chewing gum to avoid the stinging eyes of cutting onions only works for about 3 minutes.
15. Respect and consider other people’s opinions, but in the end, do what’s best for you.
16. Don’t lie. Either tell the truth or keep your mouth shut.
17. Opening yourself up to vulnerability once and a while makes you human.
18. Stop overanalyzing everything; all it does is make you crazier.
19. Going to bed early is highly underrated.
20. Knowing your flaws is a powerful thing; striving to overcome them is even more powerful.
21. As harsh as it sounds, no matter how bad things seem, there will always be someone out there worse off than you.