Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I've always had two tried-and-true methods to get myself through hard times - listening to music and writing. So, not surprisingly, I turned to writing about the termination of my most recent romance, or, in Facebook lingo, I went from being "in a relationship" to "single."

Ouch, right?

I've gone through my share of break ups, some good, some not so good. My big break up happened during the summer before I started college. I knew it was my big break up because of how it made me feel - completely crushed. I spent 2 weeks afterwards locked in my room with seasons 1-4 of Desperate Housewives; walking and breathing barely felt possible, let alone the effort of trying to function like a normal human being.

This pain eventually subsided and I returned to being me again (yay!).

Fast forward three years. After taking another chance with my high school sweetheart, the break up train came around yet again. This time, however, it was different. Even though it hurt to see the relationship dissolve, I knew it was for the best. I knew he wasn't right for me. As much as I wanted him to be The One (or something close to it), there had always been evidence that he wasn't. I knew the sooner that I accepted this, the better off I'd be. Still, I resisted. I thought he brought something to my life that was otherwise missing. I thought he held the key to me and who I ultimately was. In breaking up with him, I thought I was no longer special.

I was wrong.

Somewhere amidst all the self-pity and moping, I realized that he didn't hold the key to what made me great. Even with my puffy eyes and broken heart, I was still pretty magnificent. I just had some healing to do and some stuff to figure out - like why I thought I needed him to make me feel whole and happy.

The truth of the matter is, I ultimately chose me over a relationship that wasn't working anymore. Because of this break up, we both now have time to honestly look at ourselves and decide what kind of people we really want to be (and be with). We both have a chance to learn from past mistakes and make sure not to repeat them in our next relationships.

While our relationship wasn't perfect (and let's face it, most aren't), I have no regrets or feelings of loss; our time together taught me a lot about myself, love and relationships, and has given me valuable lessons for my future endeavors. So while the pain is still fresh and my wounds will take a while to heal, I know I made the right choice for me.